Dear Little Evil Gut Bug

Here is a letter I found necessary to write today. While it is completely off topic from my studies, perhaps it will provide you with some understanding as to why there will be no on-topic post today.

Dear little evil gut bug,

I am writing to implore you to cease your operations, which surely must be complete by now. You have, sir, accomplished what I assume to be your goal of removing all solid and liquid matter from the system through the upper hatch I used to load it. I find your thoroughness in clearing out the food containment unit most commendable. That you chose a more carpet bomb approach over selectively removing specific items a few at a time does not show a laziness or a lack of preciseness. Rather it reveals the effectively delivered, quality plans of an individual with an aim toward efficiency. I genuinely stand by this statement despite the fact that this procedure has been underway for over 12 hours, now.

I also must congratulate you on your clear environmental concerns apparent through your choice of disposal unit. You could have performed your liberation procedure carelessly, without regard for where the discarded matter ended up. This, of course, would require a large clean-up project by another team (perhaps my own team). Rather, you selected the self-emptying, flushable disposal unit. On a tangential note, I also must thank you for not using the rear hatch, which creates a different sort of issue.

Again, I commend you on a job well-done. However, from my estimations, I believe there is no longer any substance anywhere in the system. While I appreciate your need to complete any task you have to accomplish, I will note that your presence has cause me great discomfort, often remaining doubled-up awaiting the next release. Since early last night, I have been offering you the great pink libation in the hope that it will easy your stay; however, that has proven to provide little aid. Therefore, unless you can justify your need to extend your stay, I must, respectfully ask you to leave now. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Sincerely,

Time

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